Sunday, November 25, 2007

Need to find something to pick me up....

.......or someone. Believe it or not I hate this time of year. My mother is an alchoholic and drinks more this time of year. My sister bickers about every little thing wrong with our family. I have to go visit the in-laws in PA, which most of them are stuck up and don't even talk to me. And I am reminded of everything that has gone wrong. I am already depressed and as days get closer to the holidays the more I want to runaway. Chris really doesn't talk with me about anything and it is driving me nuts. Plus he drags his butt on everything so it seems like I nag him to death but if he did things by the third time I reminded him I wouldn't be such a nag. These are things that he needs to do for him or the kids not even for me or us so I don't understand him.

I realized yestarday that because so many people have hurt me in the past that I can count my friends on one hand. I have tons of people I know but hardly anyone I can go talk to when I am upset. Even the people I do call friends don't live around here any more. I feel so lost and alone. This is not a pity me party, so just plain facts of my life and I hate it.

Thank you Shari and Tammy you guys are wonderful!


RainbowMomma said...

Lyndsey, I'm sorry things are so sucky right now! The holidays are really hard when things are messed up because we so want the holidays to be a certain way. When they're not, it makes it stand out even more than usual.

Hang in there! It has to get better eventually. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

By the way, it was really funny to see Shari and Tammy written in your post. My DP's name is Tammy and I see Shari and Tammy alot. It took me by surprise, but I knew which Tammy you were really referring to. It was good for a laugh, though!

twondra said...

Awww, hon...I'm so sorry. I wish I was there in person to give you a hug. (((HUGS)))

I know there's not much I can say to make you feel better. When the holidays are a bad experience for someone, I can't imagine what it feels like.

Have you considered seeing a counselor? I've been seeing one since TTC and Mark's issues and it's the best thing I've ever done. At first I thought I was "crazy", but that was very short-lived as I realize that we all need a little guidance and support once in awhile.

Hang in there sweetie. I'm always here for you.

twondra said...

Just checking in...seeing how you are doing sweetie. I think about you a lot.

RainbowMomma said...

I'm here checking in, too.