Saturday, July 3, 2010

feeling extremely alone

I am not doing good these days. I am an introvert and lately I have become worse. Chris is gone and this is the most I have ever missed him. Sounds bad but it is just that I can normally handle alot of things on my own and right now I can't. He was out of work for three months and we were almost okay with savings but then with the moving it dragged us down. Well guess who is stuck with all of the phone calls and trying to find money on a tree? Plus trying to get the house settled and the animals settled. And then there is Raylen. We went to a barbque today at an uncle's house and well, he didn't feel like he fit and and wanted to go home as soon as I got there. It broke my heart. I wanted to move so he could get away from some of the things I went through and yet he is still turning out like me. To top it all off the friend I am going to see tomorrow went to VA first. Yes to where I just moved from to see some of our old school friends. Well I lived there fro 11 years after moving back from England and no one wanted to catch up with me while I was there. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy when she keeps sending me texts of I am with so and so do you remember them. Then even though I moved away from my mother she can still call and make me feel like crap. Sorry but I had to vent Chris isn't off of work and I really don't have any friends here yet like that is a surprise.

Have a great fourth all.


twondra said...

Oh, sweetie, this breaks my heart. I'm so sorry. I'm always here for you. Email anytime....I'll give you my phone number, too, if you would like. (((HUGS)))

courtney said...

Even though life can seem tough and unbearable at times please always remember that we live in a world full of people and everyone has a different story to tell. It's where we focus our thoughts that is important. If things aren't going the way you want them to, try making a change. (I know, I know.. easier said then done, right?) I just randomly came across your page and started reading your post and I just wanted to offer a little advice... do what you will with it. Try starting to focus your thoughts on the things you WANT in your life (friends, money, etc.) rather then dwelling on the things you don't want. In order to bring new and better things into your life, you need to make room for them. This will take constant effort and willingness to change the thought patterns that you have been accustomed to for so long. Best of luck to you!! Remember EVERYONE deserves to be happy, but it takes effort to create it in your life.