How can you make up for the past?

As in my previous post I have gotten in contact with my first love. The reason why we split had to do with my parents. I can't ask my parents why they did what they did because I am sure it would be said it was because they thought it was best for me. I have dealt with alot over the years most of which I am sure if he and I had stayed together I would not have gone through. Chris is a great guy in many ways. but truth be told I did not tell him I loved him for a long time. It only changed when agreed to ttc with ds. There is still problems. All married people have problems. To see him in pictures now hurts and yes I am jealous. I won't tell him that, nor will I tell chris. It's nice to understand what has happened but nothing can be changed no matter how much you want it.