Going back to work.

Today I was suppose to go back to work after having my little princess. Well she has had other ideas. Yestarday we did a kind of trial run leaving baby girl with her daddy while I went to an appt. Well it didn't work because breastfed little momma has decided she doesn't like any of the bottle nipples that we got. So baby girl went to work with me and I didn't get much done at all. Oh well we will try again tomorrow. I love it. I am so lucky my boss understands.

New Year New Me

I am starting off this year trying to be more positive. I always am with work but when it comes to my personal life I have always been quite negative and reclusive. So this year I am going to do more for me and not dwell on a lot that has happened in the past. I am no longer going to wonder why my mother didn't like me or treated me the way she did. She is no longer here so I will never have the answers and she won't be able to hurt me the way she did either. So why should even think about it anymore. I am going get fit and do more things outdoors, including meeting new people. I have kept to myself since I was in high school, only having a handful of close friends. I have friends that I have met online ( Tammy) that have showed me not all people are mean and hateful. I have also learned that what some people have done in the past are not who they are now. I can learn to trust, slowly of course at first but I must try. I am looking forward to this new year. I hope everyone else is too.

This past year in ramblings.

I am going to try to sum up this past year. Or perhaps not. I have not enjoyed this year as much as I had hoped. I know that sounds horrible. I love my baby girl but there has been so much that has gone wrong. Of course there was Chris being layed off twice. That has been hitting us hard all year, its hard to pick back up from that. It would have been easier if we hadn't moved as we used our savings that we had left for that. I feel horrible that we haven't been able to do more for Ray this year. He is such a great kid. He keeps saying he wants to get a job so he can help but I just want he to be a kid. And talking of kids, I miss my sister's brood. I miss them an extreme lot. I haven't been away from my dad but 3 Christmas's ( this was the third) and my nieces and nephews never. So it has been an extremely hard holiday for me. I haven't been there to help my dad through it either which upsets me too. Not to mention not having my mother anymore. I am sometimes angry at her and other times just sad. It's a little hard to explain which I am not going to do right now.

But enough, everyone have a happy new year.

A few pics of ou new adition

Just a few pics of our new addition, Kierra Michelle.

One of the furbabies

I had a friend suggest a service dog for a family member for his diabetes and thought I would share some things about my furbaby Puddin. Yes we named the dog Puddin, at the time we weren't suppose to keep her as we would find homes for stray dogs that turned up at our house. We lived near the interstate and for the most part it didn't look any homes were near the exit but we were quite close just hidden by trees. We ended up with Puddin and her sister as puppies, as well as other dogs at the time. I had to call the pups something when I would call all the dogs back to the house. As we were living in the south I had a habit at that time of calling everyone puddin or hun. Well we found a home for Puddin's sister but not her. Our rotweiller was sick and had taken to Puddin as her own so we gave our rotty a dog of her. I know it sounds funny but was glad we had another dog in the house when Casey did pass, it made it a little easier on Raylen.

Anyways on to why I thought to share about her in first place. You see I think she would have made an excellent service dog. She is very sensitive to me and how I feel. If anyone raises there voice in any manner other than calling someone to the room she is right at my side. If I am upset she is trying to crawl into my lap. The last few weeks she doesn't leave my for much, lays on my feet or is at my feet at night. We even have trouble watching sports because as anyone who gets involved into watching sports understands at some point yelling at the tv always happens. Well she doesn't like it. She is very loving and jealous dog. If I try to love on the other dog or cat she is pushing her way in. Now I wonder how she will handle having a baby in house. I have treated the animals like kids for some time now so it may be hard for all of them. But I will love them just the same, they just won't be able to be in lap as often.

Holidays

I used dread this time of year. Not that I didn't enjoy giving to gifts to the kids its not that at all. It was only one person that made me dread this time of year and she is no longer here. My mom was an alchoholic that denied it to her last day. This time of year she always thought she had the right to drink more during the holidays. The problem was she was a very mean drinker. So every holiday we always had to endure the berating and insults. This is the first holiday with out her. I wish she had listened to me for once. She had so many other qualities that were hidden away because she let the alchohol rule her. She was a wonderful cook but she hardly ever cooked because her health went down hill.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.

32 weeks, I don't think I will make it to 40.