Dear Mom,

Dear Mom,

I am sorry I didn't get to see before you died. I am sorry that I couldn't be there. But I am glad that you are no longer in pain. I am sorry that you won't see the kids grow up and graduate become who they will be. I hope you have found peace and comfort at last.
Rest in Peace Sandra D Greer 1949-2010

Just a little note

Raylen and I got into a conversation the other day that after reading a friend's blog I thought I would share. Raylen is my son from a previous relationship, so my husband is his stepdad. Here is the thing, he has never called Chris by anything other than dad or daddy. He used to called his "real" dad his biological father for quite some time, now he calls him pop. He really doesn't think of him as his dad. We got into the conversation about custody issues because of something my sister is going through with her kids. The question came up if anything happened who would he go with. Well I told him I had arranged that he would be able to pick because of his age. He has a choice of Chris, J(his bio dad), my parents or my sister. He said he would really like it put down that he stays with Chris. He wants it put down so no one argues about and that is what he wants. It made me very happy, because I know Chris would continue to raise him the way I want. The issue in my friend's blog was with adoptive parents and refering to the "real parent" when in fact the adoptive parent is the real parent. Chris and Raylen have never acted any differently and don't care what others think or comment about. They ARE family and I know the friend is too with her kids more than anyone I know. I hope she doesn't let her bother her for long. I know people are insensitive to adoptions of any kind but people are insensitive to a lot of things like religion etc. It is just a one perspective.

Thinking back

Lately I have been thinking about my son as he was a little boy. He is fifteen now but gets mistaken for being at least 18. He is as tall as me and his voice is really low now. So I decided I might share some of the stories, even he likes talking about some of them. Let start by saying I have always called him baby or baby boy, and I do mean always. He hates it now but as anyone knows he will always be my baby. Which this brings me to the story.

Raylen was 4 almost 5 and he and I went grocery shopping. He was still small enough to fit in the seat in the cart and he was(is) a very huggy, loving little boy. We went to the check out where there was a young couple in front of us in a hug. He leans over the cart and hugs me and says he wants to marry me. I explain to him that he could marry me because he was my baby boy and you just can't do that. He smiled and promised me he would always be my baby boy then. Then he turned around and asked the young girl to marry him.

We were talking today and I told him how proud of him I am. I have been very lucky with him. I don't have to worry about him getting into trouble and he IS still me baby boy, though he may not admit to it as much. BUT he still gives me loads of hugs.